It’s simply not a red carpet without Melissa Rivers.

The “Fashion Police” alum and daughter of late icon Joan Rivers knows what works (and doesn’t) on a step-and-repeat, and tells Page Six Style she was impressed by the sartorial showing at the 2024 Golden Globes — to some degree, at least.

“I thought it was good. I’m not sure it was great,” Rivers says of Sunday night’s carpet.

“I felt like it was all over the place, that there were so many trends that it was a little hard to get my head around,” she adds.

“I mean, could we have seen more black velvet? We saw a ton of sheer. We saw a lot of red. We saw a lot of big jewelry. [And] oh, my God, a lot of boobs.”

Below, Rivers breaks down the best and worst of the Golden Globes red carpet.

Taylor Swift

“Taylor Swift looked phenomenal. I loved [seeing it] in this sea of black and all these muted colors — green! The color was spectacular, the dress was spectacular … I just would have liked the top to fit a little better.”

Helen Mirren

“We had [all these] pops of color, which I loved. Helen Mirren was just … I mean, she walked in and it was over. She knows how to work a dress. She was just amazing.”

Angela Bassett

“I always feel like she shows up and is like, ‘Oh, children, you all look so nice. Now this is how a movie star does this’ So much of [it is] how she carries herself, and the attitude.

“She works it, and she knows what works on her. Everything on her is tailored beautifully, and with the long earrings and the perfect hair and makeup … you know, she just always brings it.”

Greta Lee

“I thought the front was so elegant, and the back — I thought she looked spectacular. That was one of the ones I looked at and went, oh my God, I would love to wear that.

“It was really a night where elegance, in my opinion, won; no one looked like their hair came from the beach, all very simple makeup … quiet luxury.”

Hunter Schafer

“I loved it when it was blowing and billowing … I wasn’t sure if I actually even liked it when it was dragging. But there was something sort of ethereal about it without being sheer … [and] I saw too much of too many people!”

Rosamund Pike

“I was puzzled by Rosamund Pike. That headpiece really threw me. I know she had a skiing accident, but she’s already healed! [And] I didn’t love the dress. Maybe I would have liked it better if she wasn’t in the chunky platforms. I’m not a fan of tea length at a black tie event.

“I just felt there was too much going on, and I felt like people who went too over-the-top didn’t work for me.”

Emma Stone

“I am a ginormous Emma Stone fan, but I thought the top did her no favors. She’s very flat-chested and it almost accentuated that. But the fabric, the hair and the makeup were beautiful.

“It wasn’t [about] tailoring … it was just [that] I don’t think a lot of people made good decisions that would flatter their body types.”

Julia Garner

“I don’t like dresses that make me nervous; you know, where I’m anxious for the person. Julia Garner: Loved the dress, really made me feel like that tape is working overtime. [There was] a lot of boobs, a lot of cleavage, a lot of strapless. And I just kept thinking, how much tape is even left in Hollywood right now?”

Timothée Chalamet

“I had a moment of joy because I feel like someone was listening to me, and you know, I’m just here to do good. Timothée Chalamet wore a shirt, and I’d been complaining last year about him not wearing a shirt. And it almost brought a tear to my eye. He had on a shirt!

“It’s like, there’s two people who don’t have to wear shirts: Lenny Kravitz and Harry Styles. If you are not one of those two, put on a shirt.”

Lenny Kravitz

“Lenny can do no wrong. Lenny can get away with anything because [of] his personal style, the way he carries it … and he’s Lenny Kravitz. He’s just, like, the epitome of cool.”

Jared Leto

“His style is getting very repetitive. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to see him show up elegant? Wouldn’t that be fun? With a shirt and no gloves — that would be a huge change!”

Meryl Streep

“She went as Miranda Priestly, and I loved it. And what’s really interesting is that — I don’t want to use the word ‘mature,’ but it wasn’t the super-young actresses that owned the carpet.”